Technicolor – Normal Control Range

Some time around early 1999, I received a rejection letter from a graduate school; it was the only one I cared to apply for, and I hadn’t planned for anything else. Desperate, I quickly booked a bus to San Francisco, where a major job conference would be held. Perhaps I would get a job then, I thought.

It was my first time on the Greyhound, and it wasn’t completely unpleasant. I didn’t talk to anyone nor did anyone talk to me, which was fine because I was still in a state of shock about the rejection letter. (Looking back at it now, perhaps I had been too arrogant; I hadn’t allowed for the possibility of rejection.)

I had to switch to a different Greyhound bus at an interchange midway. I switched to a wrong one and arrived four hours early in the Bay Area. I got into the hotel where the conference would be held but was driven away. Me with my headphones, hoodie, cargo pants and all around dishevelled look didn’t inspire confidence among the hotel staff.

I was forced to walk the streets of San Francisco at 4 AM. No coffee stalls were yet open. I discovered something that morning: nobody looks at the homeless (or in my case, someone who appears to be homeless). I walked past people who gave no recognition of my being there. No one gave me a smile, or even looked my way. I felt a kind of isolation I had never felt before. I began to crave the sound of my own voice, but was wary about starting a conversation–I didn’t know what to say. Still, I knew I would be incredibly warm to anyone who would talk to me. But no one did.

Eventually the sun would rise and light would trickle in. I would wash my face and clean myself up. I would bump into some of my schoolmates from Eugene, Oregon, who, too, had gotten to the conference, except they drove. We would talk, laugh and have lunch together. It was a world away from where I was just hours before, when all I had was myself, my rejection letter and my Discman.

That’s what I think about whenever I listen to Technicolor.

R.I.Y.L. Junior Varsity KM, Color Filter, Sweet Trip

Technicolor – Normal Control Range